Dealing with Addictions & Ranting About Comics

Heya folks,

First off I’ll say that I never plan what i’m going to write on this thing, i generally just go off on whatevers on my mind. Sometimes I’ll start on one thing, then completely change tack and start on something else so bear with me. Besides this is MY blog so fuck off!

Today I’ve decided to discuss what it’s like living with an addiction.

A few years back I was diagnosed with bipolar, which explained the mood swings and all the other enjoyable aspects that comes with being me.

The problem I really have is the obessive parts that come with that. I’m an addict. Not to drugs or alcohol, but something just as destructive. My poison is a sexual compulsion that fights my rational decent side and at times it turns me into someone I don’t like very much.

For the most part, I keep it under control but I have moments where I need to detatch myself from my friends and keep to myself, because I’m capable of doing some very silly things.

I’ve spoken to my shrink and one of her suggestions was medication. Meds simply are not an option for me. Sure they take away the urges, but it also takes away all the good things too. I bacially become an emotionless zombie which is simply a fate worse than death in my eyes.

You see, alot of what I do is driven by passion. Writing, gaming, how I am in general and taking away my ability to “feel” is not at all what I want. I live for the highs for everything is so energized, and even the lows are okay because they make me appreciate the good things so much more.

So I’m determined to get control over things naturally and not to resort to a quick fix. I am who I am and I love me for that, warts and all.

Somedays will be worse than others, but everyday I struggle and overcome is another victory.

Today is a public holiday and I kinda wish I was going to work because I’m seriously distracted. Like terribly so.

Hmmm what’s first up for today?

Comics? I do need to read Wanted again, or I could always go pick up The Watchmen and delve into that world again. It’s been years since I’ve read it. It’s an awesome book. I’m still waiting to see the movie, but I’m worried the movie will be ruined because I love the comic so much. Ahhh the joys of being a comic geek. Always destined to find fault in movie adaptations of my favorite comics. But I’ll admit I’m excited to hear Samuel L Jackson has signed on to play Nick Fury, and the upcoming Marvel movies are going to rock. More Iron Man, Captain America, Thor and The Avengers! I just creamed my pants.

I can’t fucking wait!

All they need to do now is get Toby Maguire to reprise Spider-Man and have him play even a cameo and my life will finally be complete. That and they need to get Thomas Jane to play The Punisher again, because no one else is fit to play Frank Castle in my eyes.

Now is the era of the comic book nerd and were going to take over the world.

You have been warned.

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