Letting go aka the Adventure is only beginning

I’ve been clinging so tightly to an idea. A dream left unfulfilled, but I’ve come to realize that dreams are there for the taking and I can do anything if I believe in myself, even when no one else does.

I feel that anything worth having is worth all the struggles, hard work and pain. It takes self belief and perseverance, and sheer determination.

I’ve been chasing acceptance from people, but instead I’m going to chase my dreams, not to make others approve, but for myself. I could never look myself in the mirror if I did anything less. Only I can make my life what I want it to be, and when I can do that, then everything else I’ve ever wanted (love, security, property) will fall into place after that.

My time at uni has helped to open my eyes in regards to how much time I’ve wasted. In waiting for good things, waiting for my dream love, waiting for anything different. But only I can make things happen. Only I can find happiness that works for me on my terms, instead of trying to prove myself worthy for someone else.

My adventures have proven that nothing is more valuable than self respect. I believe I am capable of great things, and am capable of finding an amazing connection even if it isn’t with the person I wanted to have that with. I’ve missed out on so much in just waiting for things to get better.

But I’m determined to make amends. Sure it will be difficult, but my happiness is worth the risk. I’d rather try and fail than to never risk it all for a chance at the kind of life I’ve always wanted. At the end of the day, if you’re unwilling to try then it’s only your fault that things are never any different.

I’ve accepted that I am who I am. And I really like who I am, especially since I’ve accepted the past and I’ve decided to move past it. The past is an important part of who I am, but I am not ruled by the mistakes of the past. Only I can make things better. You simply gotta believe.

And anything is possible when you have hope, faith in yourself and the path you’ve set in front of you and you know who you are, and what you want. Nothing else matters.

I don’t care too much for approval, in fact I’ve had people telling me I can’t do things my whole life. But no more. Others may find comfort in settling for a life that doesn’t really mean a damn for them, or living a lavish lifestyle to make up for something lacking.

I am me. I am strong, determined and willing to risk it all for the chance for something more meaningful than simple wealth or materialist ideals. And if you doubt me, nothing will give me more joy that to prove you all wrong. And if it all falls flat on my face, you can say I told you so. But at least I’ll have comfort in knowing that I tried my hardest, and was willing to take a chance in backing myself and what I know I can accomplish.

That’s something to be proud of right?

The old me would have never had the guts to do such a thing. So if anything, the journey I’ve made within myself is already worth it. I would never go back to the dark days, depression and sadness are so horrible to have to live with. What’s life without hope? It’s not worth living if you ask me.

I am looking forward to seeing where the next fork in the road take me. And with any luck, I’ll see you there.

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