Transitions…

*Disclaimer* This post is fairly ambiguous. It’s not referring to anything in particular, more everything as a whole.

Hey all…

I’ve had an epiphany of sorts. Not in a game changing  way or anything like that, but I’m moving on. From situations and people, things that hold me back from my potential. From devotion not returned, from those whose sole job in life is to try to hold me back and bring me down. Feelings wise, nothing has changed but I’m getting on with my life and enjoying every moment of this life. You only have one life to live and I’ve come to realise that I’ve been waiting and waiting for my opportunity. Waiting for the right person to choose me. I refuse to wait, I refuse to take no for an answer. I refuse to keep myself on a leash and wishing beyond hope that I would be “good enough”

Well I am good enough damn it. I’ve been clinging so tightly to a feeling, because it made me feel alive. I hang and wait and hope that things will be different. That the life I’ve envisioned so many times will come true, that I will at last be content.

Fuck waiting. I am a great person and I deserve some decent karma for a change. So I’m taking this shit by the horns and I’m going to get what I want from life, or I’ll die trying. I’ve been looking ahead far too much. I have to concentrate on the here and now. I’m getting myself out there. Gonna start dating again, gonna keep writing. Always believing in myself. I’m funny, smart and caring. I’m worthy of happiness. I deserve success. I want a life filled with passion, inspiration and creativity. And I’m not going to settle for anything less. No more waiting… for love, for success, for contentment. I’m transitioning to something different from this. I guess I’m just sick and tired of waiting for my turn. For someone to choose me. If you didn’t choose me first, why the fuck should I accept you when you come crawling back? I am no ones backup plan, actually… I refuse to be. If you wanted me, you should have taken your chance. Now sadly that ship appears to have sailed.

I know you can’t, so I’m doing it for you. I’m moving on. I refuse to be anyones backup plan. I don’t know if it’s what you wanted, but I’m deciding to move on. I can’t and WONT wait for anyone. Not anymore.

It just takes desire and a will to act… If you want something enough, you should just take it. No one ever found happiness sitting on their hands and waiting for an opportunity.

So I’m moving on… no more looking back… No more waiting.

My time is now. The world is my oyster.

PS: My ambitions for the future.

1) I want to write an episode of Doctor Who.
2) I want to write a feature film
3) I want to finish my manifesto
4) Fill my life with passion and inspiration.

I don’t want to be rich. I find that poverty makes me more desperate, more determined. I wouldn’t mind being comfortable, just not too comfortable. I’m far too unmotivated unless life pushes me in the right direction. It’s just how I am. I am a great person, a great friend and I will find my place in this world at long last.

The glass is half full, and Monty Python said it best after all….

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