Ten Day YOU Challenge – #4 – Seven Wants

Hey all…

Just a quick update, then onto the list. One of my housemates is bonkers, he’s out the front right now ranting and raving to himself. I’m genuinely scared of him now. It’s funny the things that don’t seem so important when you’re off your face. But now in my life without inebriation, that I find my comfort levels are dropping everyday. I have to sneak about just to feel comfortable even having a cigarette. Apparently the landlord is kicking him out soon, but it can’t happen soon enough. I hate feeling like a prisoner in my room.

Well enough of that annoying depresso crap, on to my next list. Seven Wants. I haven’t really thought  about this too much, so it should prove interesting. Here Goes! Continue reading

It’s Over…

Hey all…

This is going to be a quick one. I’m quitting drugs for good. I’m serious. I’ve been living with a crazy speed addict and got threatened with a knife the other day. He’s a loony toon, who walks about talking to himself and he flies off the handle over the smallest thing. He really has a violent temper. So after seeing that shit, I’ve decided enough is enough.

I guess I’m just scared I’ll end up like him.

So no more. Enough is enough and it time for a change. This change will be both difficult and easy. But at the end of the day, I know it’s best for me. Here’s to hoping I can be strong enough to stick with it. At least it’s not as hard to give up than cigarettes.

Wish me luck!

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Ten Day YOU Challenge – #1 – Ten Secrets

Hey all…

Well first off, I needed to take a small break from the blog, as all this reflection and thinking was just doing my head in. And to be completely honest, I’ve just been thinking too much about my dad and the cancer.

So I came back online today and discovered a neat lil idea on http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com it’s called the 10 Day YOU Challenge. It has the potential to be very exposing for me. And that’s the idea. I’m trying to shed my natural tendencies to hide. From my feelings, relationships, from problems, hell from everything really. So I’m going to take the leap and throw it out there. I only place one condition upon myself.

BE HONEST. NO MATTER WHAT.

So without further a due, here goes nothing. Continue reading

Things I am most afraid of…

Wow I know what you’re thinking. Two posts in a single day?

Well, sorry in advance for the overload, both of your respective feeds and also your brains. But I just finished reading a blog over at http://halfwaybetweenthegutter.wordpress.com/ and it inspired me.

It really got me thinking. What exactly do I want to do with this blog? To be perfectly honest, it started because I needed somewhere to vent. I’ve been holding on to all this pain for so long and I just had to find an outlet that was healthier that sex, drugs and alcohol. Before, I didn’t know what was wrong with me, and I didn’t care. All I cared about was feeling different.

But now I want better for myself. I want to be able to have a resemblance of a normal life. I want a healthy relationship full of passion, communication and understanding.

So I’m going to try to educate people, and hope that I can make a difference. Even if I reach one person, it will all be worth it…

So yeah on to business. Continue reading

Work in Progress…

Hey all,

Todays post is about change, I’m talking real sustainable change. To make both my quality of life and the whole package better. I’m not just trying to improve myself mentally, but also physically. While I’m not really overweight or anything like that, I just think I could definitely improve in certain regards.

The way I see it, once I find a place within myself where I’m actually happy with who and what I am, then the rest will only take care of itself. It sounds like a great idea in theory, so I’m just gonna run with it.

Here are a few items in my “To Do List” If anyone says it’s a bucket list, I’m going to stab you in the jaw with a knife. haha Continue reading

The Road to Forgiveness

Hey all,

I’ve not always been the person I wanted to be. I’ve more often than not been selfish in my pursuit of happiness, and all the wreckage I’ve left in my wake was collateral damage. But it’s always sat like a heavy weight upon my soul. As much as I’ve tried to convince myself that I don’t care, I really really do. I’m not who I wanted to be, and in a way what I want isn’t a realistic goal. So I have to find a middle ground, if I can. Continue reading