Long Time No See… aka The Changes Blog

Hey guys,

It’s been a long time since I’ve made anything resembling a reasonable update to this, but to be honest I’ve been really busy. I’ve made some serious changes and my saga of growth and self-improvement continues. As always, it’s hard but isn’t making changes meant to be hard? 

Well for starters…

I moved away from the big city and I’m enjoying living in the country. It’s much more peaceful, and my anxiety has dropped dramatically. Of course it’s awfully lonely without my friends, but it’s nice to be closer to my family, especially mum. At the moment I’m living at dads, and saving some money to get a place of my own. Making new friends is especially hard, let alone finding a “date” lol. Sometimes I feel like I’ve given up on actually meeting somebody special. I know plenty of amazing people but I’m yet to find that special someone we’re all supposed to have waiting out there for us. I think it’s also because I don’t really feel that strongly very often. It’s only happened twice in my whole life, and usually for someone I clearly cannot have. But don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing. And that’s a lot coming from a reformed alcoholic/drug addict who lived day-to-day trying to be something else. Looking back, I realise I’ve really come along a long way.

I’m back on medication, if anything to help with the insomnia and the inevitable mood swings that come with Bipolar. I’m on Seroquel, and it really knocks me about. But my god once I get to sleep I actually sleep the whole night. I’m talking 6 – 8 minimum without fail. And for me, considering I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in 10 years, it’s a god send. I’ve also been having some fairly dark dreams, but they are a cost I’m willing to pay if I can actually recharge my batteries.

I’m still anxious, especially living under someone elses roof. I think I need to try to make some new friends, which I’ve never really been all that good at doing. At times like those I regret leaving Melbourne. But besides that, the effect on my health has been dramatic. I needed to get away and I can always go back if I want to. I know that now.

Change is a scary and yet exciting thing. I needed to make a change, and I’ll keep doing things as I do them. One day at a time.

Till next time…

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