How beautiful do you have to be to be loved?

To begin I’ll just say I’m obsessed with art.

I’m captivated by such beautiful things that my heart breaks every single day. Be it a painter who captures a feeling with such clarity, to a photographer who portrays beautiful people, images and events..  It takes my breath away.But with such beautiful things comes the darker sides of our nature. I cannot stand when an artist who is accused of damaging people. Why? Because apparently they raise the bar for everybody to an unhealthy level. They give wrong expectations of how you or a partner worthy of you are supposed to look. They use all the tricks to make the people in the pictures always look perfect and beautiful – so how can a normal person keep up with this? Well, from my point of view the answer is simple, maybe it’s too simple really. You don’t have to keep up with them.

I see attractive people and often wonder how can I keep up with you? Just like everyone else does. But it’s always best to remember that you are beautiful too. You have not only your looks, you have your own unique way. You have your personality, your style. You have your way of walking and talking. You can make a real connection with somebody. You can touch them. You can make them feel your caress. You can make their heart pound. I don’t say this to tell you: “if you want somebody to fall in love with you, you have to look like them”. It won’t work. It can’t work, not in a way that would or could be even remotely meaningful or real.

I’m saying: “if somebody falls in love with you they will see you like those images that makes you jealous/angry/envious”.

I see art and can only dream of emulating such things. I’m want to be an artist doing impressionistic photography. We want to document a different reality, a certain state of mind, if you will. With art I want to seduce people to see other people with other eyes. I want you to look at someone in a completely different way and simply say: “oh my God.” We all in our own way deserve to be noticed. We are all remarkable and in our own way.

It’s realizing it that is the hardest part. It’s letting go of our doubts about ourselves and having the strength and patience to see it through. I’m not saying it’s easy. It’s hard because we are all complex creatures filled with hopes and dreams, doubts and insecurities. We all suffer the secrets we keep. But I have worked out a few important things in my time on this earth. If you’re trying to outdo others in being more beautiful (or getting a partner who is), your life will be a race without a finish line. There is always someone who is more beautiful, more talented, successful, funnier, etc… In the end you will be exhausted and frustrated and maybe as lonely as ever. And it’s only after you learn to love and accept yourself, that anyone else can love you. The real you that we can’t hide behind make up and fashion. A façade cannot make you into something you are not. 

I want you to forget about worrying how you can make somebody fall in love with you. I simply want for you to fall in love, for every moment we exists is special. And love is the most special thing of all. It endures beyond everything else even pain, and it is the truest reminder that we are human, and we are alive. I want you to think of love, not as a weakness but, as your biggest strength. Love is not about being in control it is about losing control. If you’re not afraid to do that this will be your superpower even in times of rejection and heartbreak. But it’s not easy…. Anything that is worthwhile never really is. If you’re still wonder how to make somebody fall in love with you I can only tell you that I don’t have the answers… Maybe you were made to think being beautiful will do the trick but I don’t think that’s it…

Maybe people don’t love you because they think you are beautiful.

Or maybe… just maybe… 

They think you are beautiful because they love you.

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