Channelling creativity

It’s time once again for life’s great adventure to begin anew. And as always, things are inexplicably complicated. Again. Haha it’s funny how life tends to travel in cycles. It seems that history does in fact repeat itself.

I’m not going to go into specifics but whenever I’m overwhelmed by any type of emotion I don’t hide from it. I write. I listen to music. I create. I use the feelings that used to drive me crazy and channel it into something greater. I embrace these feelings that used to terrify me.

Different emotions always triggered a different reaction. Love would always make me insecure, sadness would always make me feel like this is all I’ll ever know and all I deserved in life. Trust always left me wondering when I would end up betrayed.

But now I control it, channel it. Lust becomes adult fiction or poetry. I put everything if feel into anything I create. That’s why I find it hard to write when I’m not engaged in something that evokes an extreme emotional response.

Emotions have always and will always be to the extreme for me. But I’ve discovered that it’s not such a bad thing. I am how I am. And I can’t be anything else.

I used to believe my feelings were a curse. But really they are a blessing despite how uncomfortable it makes me at time. The pros always far outweigh the cons.

My creative levels are on a high. I’m writing and thinking almost every moment I can. I’m filled with a bunch of emotions. Confusion, excitement, desire, thoughtfulness, compassion. But most of all are those butterflies.

My head is in the clouds. I’m obsessive. I love the great merry go round, and no matter where it takes me I’ll on tight. If it doesn’t work out, so be it. There will always be another time, another place.

Fuck being afraid of the consequences.
Fuck being afraid full stop.

Live free. Love without abandon. I believe that’s the difference between the man I am now and the man I was a long time ago. By being honest with myself and deciding to not to hide from pesky emotions. I worked out that it’s better to try and fail, than to hide away in fear of failing.

Worst case scenario, no matter when I dive into i’ll get some awesome writing done either way. That’s worth having a go isn’t it?

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