Tired

I’m so tired of depression. Sometimes I don’t know if I can take it. I’m tired of being on meds just to have a resemblance of normal feelings. Maybe they do keep me more levelled out, so I’m not over-reacting when I’m in moods like this. 

I tried to stop taking them a few weeks ago and I started getting fucking withdrawals. I also cut for the first time in months. God I’m such a mess. I’m tired of not knowing who I can rely upon. Tired of relying on people who can’t be there for me. 

I’m sad all the damn time. Sometimes I just want to cry just for the release but something holds bak my tears. Maybe I’ve been pretending I’m fine for so long that I’m unable to let go. 

I’m so lonely. And I can’t sleep. Too much thinking is never ever a good thing. Sometimes I wish I’d never moved away. But if I was still in the city is be high or drunk by now. And I need better coping mechanisms. I need someone to talk to. Someone who actually gets it. 

The razor is calling me, but I’m fighting it off. Im just tired of feeling so miserable. I’m tired of being so tired. 

Let’s hope my next post is a bit more hopeful. 

Until next time,

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