It feels like so much has happened since I last posted. And I don’t want to go on about it, because I’m scared if I start I won’t be able to stop the tears that have been lingering on the edge for the past few weeks.
I had to say goodbye today.
Standing over him as the hospital machines beeped and moved about pumping artificial life into his broken body. I refused to cry in front of him. I didn’t want his last memories of me to be me crying. I want him to remember me as the dorky strange boy he’d known my whole life. I just never had the time to get past my own bullshit, to say what really mattered. Sure things haven’t been ideal between us, but at the end of the day what matters most to me is that I love him. Continue reading